Manny Cosme, CPC, ELI-MP
Founder & Coach
I believe in love. Being in love is the most amazing experience you can have in your life. I want to help people find real love and, even more important, stay in love. But as gay men, we have some real challenges when it comes to relationships. Our community has traditionally (and out of necessity) shunned intimate relationship. As a result, we have learned and even adapted to living our lives without these intimate connections. But as society becomes more accepting of single-sex relationship, more and more gay men are realizing that they can have the intimacy they crave. Relationships are challenging no doubt, and gay relationships can be even more challenging. Unfortunately there has been a lack of gay-focused relationship help, as most relationship professionals focus on traditional heterosexual relationships. While these professionals are great at helping straight couples, they don’t understand the nuances that exist in gay relationships – things like sexual position issues, sex apps, sub-scenes, and so on. These nuances form very real issues in forming and sustaining gay relationships, and the professional must have a strong understanding of them to be of any true help. My goal is to fill this much needed gap, and help gay men find, accept, and keep real love.
I have always been interested in love. I was raised by two strong and loving parents who served as great role-models for a healthy relationship. This formed a strong desire for me to have my own healthy relationship, but soon discovered – after several failed relationships – that it was easier said than done. I became very interested in learning about what sustains a great intimate relationship, and started reading everything I could, attending workshops, etc. As I learned more, I was able to help my friends (and myself) through their relationship woes, become more consciously aware of the dynamics that were affecting the relationship and what to do to change those dynamics.
I used my knowledge to meet a wonderful guy. We fell in love and got engaged. But a few months later, he broke up with me seemingly out-of-the-blue. I was devastated to say the least, and immediately sought the help of a breakup coach. Through working with her, I was able to gain new perspectives on our relationship and realize that he wasn’t the right person for me. And this helped me to move on. Interestingly, as I was going through my own breakup, several of my other friends were breaking up with their long-term boyfriends. Devastated, they would come to me for help. Using my own experience and everything I had been learning, I was able to help them ease their pain and move on. Eventually these same friends were able to start dating again and looking for a new relationship, and so we would spend time talking about what they were looking for, what was blocking them, etc. It was during this period that my proverbial light bulb went off, and I realized what my true calling was: Helping gay men with their relationships!
Seeing a lack of professional help in the area of gay relationships, I decided that I would fill that gap! I enrolled in coaching school, and eventually earned my certification as a professional life coach from the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) – the highest rated coaching school in the world. I concurrently enrolled in spiritual practitioner training with the Centers for Spiritual Living, to develop an even deeper understanding and control of the sub-conscious metaphysical forces that shape our lives. These trainings form an extremely powerful foundation for coaching.
- Certified Professional Coach (CPC)
- Master Practitioner of Energetic Coaching (ELI-MP)
- Member of the International Coach Federation (ICF)
- Currently training to be licensed as a Spiritual Practitioner (non-religious /non-denominational)
- 10+ years of dating experience and intensive self-study
There are several tools that coaches use to deliver empowering results. No one tool is better…they are all designed to get to the same goal by taking different paths. I use a mixture of the following tools in my coaching practice. I also teach you how to you the tools yourself, so that eventually you can start taking full control of your life!
There are seven levels of energy that exist within us, and we are constantly shifting in and out of every level on a daily basis. We can look at certain aspects of our lives, such as romantic relationships, and see that we tend to resonate at a certain level more consistently over time. This level gives us tremendous information about the “filter” that we are applying to that area of our life. Once we are aware of this, we can then work on shifting that filter to a different energy level that will better serve us and get us what we want.
Law of Attraction.
The way that you present yourself will naturally attract certain people to you. Imagine walking into a bar with an angry look on your face…you will attract a different type of person than if you walked in with a joyful smile. We don’t often do this consciously, but rather it just happens naturally on a sub-conscious level. We therefore attract people (and circumstances) into our lives that serve the thoughts that reside in our sub-conscious. So if we are attracting the wrong things into our lives, we need to look at these core thoughts and see what they are saying. From there, we can change the thoughts to better attract what we truly want.
Level 3 Communication.
Contrary to popular belief, communication is all about LISTENING and not talking (there is a reason we have one mouth and two ears!). There are three levels of communication: Level 1 is when you talk to the other person. Level 2 is when you listen to what the other person is saying. Level 3, the highest form of communication, is when you listen to what the other person ISN’T saying. Essentially it’s like “reading between the lines.” When you learn to listen to your past, current, or prospective partner at this level, a whole new world of information opens to you.
We all have certain beliefs that create obstacles and limit us. These beliefs are sometimes created at a young age, and sometimes evolve as we have new experiences over time. These GAILS are especially prevalent in relationships, and are often the source of frustration in starting or sustaining an intimate connection. Uncovering and being aware of these limiting beliefs can then help us eliminate them and free us from these obstacles that hold us back.
As a coach, I am interested in YOU. What do you want in a relationship? What do you think and feel about relationships? These are the keys to unlocking the door to what you desire. We humans are amazing creatures, capable of creating our own lives and shaping our own destinies. But we often hold ourselves back with negative thoughts and catabolic feelings, which become filters in which we see the world and then take action based on those perceptions. Imagine walking into a bar and thinking and feeling that no one will be interested in you…what actions would you take as a result? But now imagine that you walked into a bar thinking and feeling like you were the cat’s pajamas and everyone wanted you…how would your actions change, and what would be the result? These are self-fulfilling prophesies that we manifest every day, often sub-consciously. As a coach, my role is to help you uncover these core thoughts and feelings in order to help shift your paradigm to a more empowered one. That is the key to finding and keeping the love you truly want.